Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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