He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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