C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
