My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
