I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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