yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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