i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
