I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
