It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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