No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
