So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
