He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
