I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
