There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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