My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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