Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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