Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
