omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
