I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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