So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
