can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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