i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
