whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You ruined the universe
Randomize