whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
