I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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