I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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