Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
