I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
