let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
