Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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