she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
