Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
