I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize