And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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