pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
