Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
