His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
