is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize