A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
