I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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