okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
