After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
