I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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