She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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