Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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