found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I intend to get homeless drunk
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
