i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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