no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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