this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
