If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
