My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
