Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
