He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
