you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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