i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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