At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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