You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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