Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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