Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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