She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
