i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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