she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
