The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
