i was born a porn star she said
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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