He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
