Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
