So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
