Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When did we convert life to cartoon?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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