Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
someone owes me an orgasm
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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