Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
