i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize